Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

You'll be pleased to hear we are having spring again this year, since it has been such a success in previous years.

In fact, it kicks off next week and coincidentally the committee has decided, in a split decision, that winter should end at about the same time.

It has been a particularly tough winter for a lot of you, with colds and flu knocking many about and the All Blacks losing the first Bledisloe. So let's celebrate the start of some (hopefully) warmer weather and enjoy the days lengthening.

Next week also marks the start of Bee Aware Month, in which you all are invited to pitch in to help feed the local bees by planting ‘bee friendly' plants in gardens,
on farms, in public gardens and even along our roadsides.

Cross about Easter hours

You can't keep everyone happy all the time and the result of the Easter trading law changes is likely to result in someone getting cross.

Some will argue its erosion of the importance of a holy celebration, while many see it as common sense that Easter trading rules had to change. Years of inconsistencies and debate will hopefully be addressed, with the decision that councils will decide whether retailers can open on Easter Sunday.

Exemptions for some areas, such as Taupo and Queenstown, being allowed to open while other regions were not, was completely irrational thinking and asking for trouble.

Discrimination, in fact.

Meanwhile, other trade continues unabated, such as internet sales.

You could go on Trade Me and buy a hot cross bun from anyone anywhere, yet the store down the road would be breaking the law to sell you one. Absurd.

The new rules aren't coming into play until 2017, which means another Easter of nonsense next year.

Some won't abide for another year and are likely to open for trade regardless. By the time they're slapped for it, the law will have changed and it would be a bloody minded court process that pushed on with a case under those circumstances.

However here at the Sun, we are not condoning breaking the law. But to assist those caught in the twilight zone of Easter trading, we will have a special feature, ‘We're Not Really Open Sale' for those businesses who would like to promote the fact they're officially closed but would love to see you nonetheless.

It's the sale you have when you don't have a sale. The Clayton's trading hours, when your business is booming at the same time it's closed. Fans of Monty Python's ‘dead parrot sketch' will follow the logic of this.

'It's Easter Sunday and your business is open.”

'No it's not, it's just asleep.”

To add to the colour and quirkiness of the already grey area of Easter Sunday trading and opening hours, workers will be able to decline employment on that day, if they wish.

They can tell the boss they won't be at work, but don't have to say why. Personally, I am looking forward to telling myself this.

Capital column

Why isn't Rogers Rabbits printed in the Dominion, the Askins have been askin'.
Persistent readers Keith and Linda regularly send this column to a sister in Wellington and she wants to know why it isn't published in the capital.

Very good question, sister. Mainly because it's got a strong BOP focus that the Wellington crowd wouldn't understand.

The Askins are among our prime sources of vital information for logical thinking, tax-paying, decent New Zealanders. Here's some insights, via Keith and Linda:

I just received from the Inland Revenue Department an audit on my tax return for 2014, it's really puzzling me.

They are questioning the number of dependants that I claimed for.

Their question was... ‘List all your dependants?'

I replied, '1000 Muslim immigrants that we provide everything for; 1000 crack/dope heads in rehab; 100,000 bludgers choosing to be on the dole and not even looking for work, 10,000 people in prison, the whole Treaty of Waitangi Gravy Train, 3000 overstayers here for a ‘working holiday' and the 120 tossers in the Beehive!”

They told me that this was NOT the correct answer. So I keep asking myself, ‘Who the hell did I forget?'

Points to note

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
A husband is someone who, after taking the rubbish out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines and a large rubbish bin.

He said, 'I tried defrosting the fridge last night, or as she calls it, foreplay”.

Thought for the day:

Be who you are and say what you feel...because those who matter... don't mind ... and those who mind ...don't matter!

And as you slide down that banister of life you should pray that all the splinters are pointed the other way.

Have a great spring, a happy daffodil day and be nice to the bees.

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brian@thesun.co.nz