Carol Stovold Quality Kidz qualitykidz.co.nz Tauranga

Last week I discussed how vital the first three years are in establishing lifelong patterns for learning, knowledge and relationships.

As mentioned in earlier articles, humans primarily need love, attention, safety, predictability and consistency in order to survive and attain their potential. Sadly for some of our children, they are not able to achieve this as easily as they should because of their environments.

Across many societies and ethnicities around the world, the predominant or natural pattern of care for babies and young children is with their mothers assisted by other family members in familiar domestic settings. In fact neuro-scientific research suggests this is critical for every aspect of a child's development.

Neuro-scientific research has also taught us that endorphins enable myelin to coat neural pathways and create connections in the brain, whilst cortisol, which is released from the adrenal gland in response to stress, strips it. Research has demonstrated over a number of years that stress impacts on long term outcomes for both children and adults.

Chronic stress has been found to be associated with severe illnesses, depression, behavioural and social problems. Even for adults stress has the effect of driving ability to think and function down into their survival brain. For very young children the effect is much worse as their higher brain functions are not fully developed.

Children exposed to stress such as not having their cries responded to, being treated violently, abused or having their physical and emotional needs neglected are more at risk for these outcomes than children raised in stable, loving, nurturing, secure and stimulating relationships with caregivers in the earliest months and years of life.

In fact to quote Child Matters in the launch of their new book ‘Hidden In Front Of Us', written by Anetha Simcock, 'So many New Zealand children grow up in a reality of pain, fear, neglect, hurt and injury. A reality in which they feel ‘invisible' and learn to believe they are not worth protecting.”

So how can we change this cycle of social deprivation and damage to emerging brains?

By teaching prospective parents what babies need and how to look after them. Young people, and in particular boys, need to learn how to be nurturing, tender, loving and caring before they become parents. When children are born, parents need to not regard them as a nuisance or a mistake but celebrate the birth and acknowledge that there is an individual who needs them more than anything else in the world.

Society also needs to help parents to raise children who are happy, safe, and healthy and feel valued, by ensuring parents themselves are valued and supported for the role they play in raising the next generation.

Teaching people how to nurture and love their children can be the hardest and yet the most rewarding thing they can do.

Next week – Next week more on the importance of 0 - 3

By Carol Stovold, Managing Director, Quality Kidz.