Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Nowhere else in our lives is PC do-goody craziness more out of hand, than on the roadside.

Every day we see excessive precautions to save us from ourselves, to the point that we are becoming numbed and oblivious to warning signs, fluoro coloured things and that most iconic symbol of PC-ness… the inimitable orange road cone.

It has reached the point where road cones will be soon be used to warn of road cones.
You all have your own stories and photos of Cones Gone Mad. We invite you to share them.

It's conetagious

This week we found a classic example of Conetagious behaviour.

A downtown traffic bollard, surrounded by not only road cones, but an orange safety fence. Rogers Rabbits was quick to investigate.

The blue bollard within was adorned with a singular warning road cone next to it; on the off chance a bollard admirer missed the first series of cones and the orange fence.
A sort of modern day, safety-conscious rendition of Stonehenge. More of a Conehenge.

It could be that the bollard is dangerous. Or simply needed a mental health day.
Maybe it's somehow arcing to power cables beneath the pavement and fries anyone who touches it with 50 gizzilion volts. Although I doubt it.

We threw a small child in there with instructions to lick the bollard. The result was inconclusive, but there certainly weren't any sparks or smoke. Just the occasional whinge, 'you promised me an icecream”.

Maybe the precautions are to stop anyone leaning in, and touching the bollard.

So I leaned in, and touched the bollard. The good news is, nothing happened and I lived to tell the tale. The bad news is, the fence and cone array turned out to be an epic fail, they didn't prevent a Determined Leaner from touching the faulty bollard.

Maybe it has wet paint? So we checked it for wet paint. It wasn't. Maybe it's dried since the erection of Conehenge.

You see, there are people roaming the streets, like Rogers, who see a sign saying 'don't do this” and they are immediately compelled to try it, to see what REALLY happens.

As we've said before, my grandmother often warned 'do not put your fingers in the bean slicer”. Did little Rogers comply? Well let's just say, it's a wonder I can even type this.

Another theory put forward recently, is that councils and contractors are not responsible for the proliferation of cones.

That the cones are in fact lifeforms from another planet, who have figured out they can invade Earth by appearing as cone shaped safety markers, and they'll be largely ignored. Before long, the aliens will have complete control of our roading infrastructure and will be able to shut down entire highways.

They're already assembling on the roadsides now, waiting for the signal from the

Mothership…

We thought the nice people at the council may have a perfectly good explanation for why we need a road cone to mark the bollard, a fence around the bollard and road cone, then a series of six road cones to warn of the fence.

Turns out, they do! 'The bollard was hit by a vehicle on Tuesday. It is illuminated and needs electrical work.

'The fence secures the site. The cones are there to make sure no one trips on the plastic feet of the fence, and they are reflective to help motorists notice the fence sticking out onto the road.”

Thanks TCC for looking out for our safety and kindly explaining the Curious Case of Conehenge.

Meanwhile, if anyone wants a small child, there's probably one still inside an orange safety fence on The Strand, with its tongue stuck to the paint on a traffic bollard.

Parting thought:

If an icecream truck breaks down, do they put cones around it? Will the repair bill run to hundreds and thousands?

Send us your silly rules to brian@thesun.co.nz

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A reminder for hunters to be safe this game bird season

The approaching ‘roar' and opening of the game bird season will encourage thousands of hunters into the hills and swamps of New Zealand and national hunting associations and key government departments think it is timely to remind hunters to ‘be safe'.

The traditional start to the season is May 1.

In the last decade the number of firearm licence applicants has more than doubled – and this has increased hunter numbers.

As result, Hunter Safety Inter-agency Committee chair and New Zealand Deerstalkers' Association president Bill O'Leary is reminding hunters to follow some basic rules.

They are: Get a firearm licence, get permission to access and hunt on land, communicate your presence to other hunters, and understand and observe the basic rules of firearm safety.

Bill says the media and the public tend to focus on the ‘failure to identify' incidents but he emphasises most incidents are the result of failure to observe basic rules – such as always pointing the firearm in a safe direction.