Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Living out in the wild west comes with its challenges.
Most of you city slickers reading this won't really appreciate the trials and tribulations of those of us living on the frontiers.

Life is so rough, we can sometimes see cows from our window. Occasionally, locals go to their letterbox on horseback.
Once, when the elements were at their worst, we had to put on gumboots to bring in the recycling bin. Other times, (don't read further if you are squeamish), we get rain fade on our satellite television sets. You really have to live tough to understand the hardship.
Those far-flung regions of the Bay, where your Weekend Sun boldly goes where others fear to tread, is a lifestyle far removed from that of the city.
Occasionally on still nights you can hear the haunting strains of ... 'Oh give me a home, where the pukeko roam…” wafting across the tranquil waters of Tauranga Harbour.
Those residents unfortunate enough to have to travel to the city each day (to afford to live rough in the Boondocks) have been through the wringer again lately, with roadworks at Bethlehem enough to drive you bonkers.
It shows just how close this highway teeters on the brink of mayhem.
The slightest little hiccup can result in traffic constipation for miles. In fact the RR formula for estimating the expected backlog at peak traffic can be calculated in road cones. One road cone equals 200 metres of queue. So in recent weeks, with the deployment of 250 road cones, the resulting backlog took the morning traffic queues back five kilometres. It came as no surprise to Westies trying to get to work in the east.

Wild Heather
One astute reader, Heather, recently vented her displeasure upon my email inbox.
'Travelling into Tauranga from the north early in the mornings is a real bottleneck, traffic can be jammed up from Snodgrass Road to Bethlehem roundabout. Fair enough you say, if it is busy, and the roads are inadequate! But we folks who stick with the main road are queue-jumped by the folks who drive down Snodgrass Rd and PUSH their way into the traffic stream at the Wairoa River bridge intersection. Can they not read? The sign says GIVE WAY not merge like a ZIP! Some drivers who have stuck to the main road route, politely let these pushy people in and others give way as the queue jumpers push on through! I find this very annoying and an abuse of good manners.
I suppose loads more of you will duck around Snodgrass Rd from now on! Well watch out, we Main Roaders may be getting a lot tougher and less polite from now on.”
Fighting talk, Heather. We sympathise with you and understand the frustration. But I wonder how you will tell the difference between highway queue jumpers and the good folk of Te Puna, such as me and my neighbours, trying to get onto the highway to work or banjo lessons?
Also, some of us from the boondocks have nudge bars. Others, and we don't condone any of this, suffer from a common affliction – Compulsive Repetitive Bird Flipping Gesticulation. This can also be followed by Compulsive Repetitive Horn Tooting Syndrome. In some extreme cases, drivers present with symptoms of both.

Head start
We found a better answer was to get up earlier and get to work before the rush. It's a shame this doesn't work for more people right across the traffically-challenged Western Bay. Some flexibility in working hours would help alleviate a lot of road congestion.
I know it's a sad response to sensible long term traffic planning – something the region seems desperately short of. But its sure beats the frustration of queuing – or dealing with bolshy Heathers at the Station Rd corner!
Fortunately for the Heathers of this world and other frustrated commuters, the two lanes at Bethlehem finally seem to be open and the nightmare of traffic back-ups has disappeared as fast as it arrived. Till the next time… when a bread truck gets a flattie or a pukeko sneezes, then it will be all on again.

On the Western Front
Meanwhile, even further west, our Katikati cousins have issues unique to their neck of the woods. This week, the Sun kicks off a new column from the good folk on the fringes ‘The Western Front'.
Instigated by Brian Anderson, ‘The Western Front' is his compilation of information from the Katikati and Waihi Beach region, with input from some of the local body politicians out west. The first column appears in this edition and future columns will tackle some gnarly issues. Drop me a line at
brian@thesun.co.nz with any topics you'd like to see 'The Western Front” handle.
I just hope they have an answer for the control of wild Heather.