Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

It's official: The ambulance really is at the bottom of the cliff.

We signed up again to support St John Ambulance and are left wondering what kind of sick society won't fund essential emergency services from government coffers, yet splashes out on impotent military relics, rich boys' sport, horrible art and fictional television nonsense.

The funding farce doesn't stop at ambulances.

There are a stack of other essential services such as Waipuna Hospice, medical support services and Volunteer Coastguard which scramble for charity dollars year in and year out. We expect these organisations to deliver, but how many of us give a second thought to the costs of maintaining the levels of service?

The navy treated us to a rare visit at Anzac weekend, with one of the ships that does go. A glimpse of your tax dollars floating by. But how many millions are tied up at the Devonport Wharf, ships that go nowhere?

White Elephant ships

I haven't done the sums but a fair guess the cost of running one of these White Elephant ships for a year would probably cover the entire operating budgets of ambo, coastguard, Blind Foundation, cancer drugs, and the Deranged Old Editors' Asylums.

Yet I can't see much benefit for the public from the navy, complete with its collection of ships that hardly leave the wharf. The navy, bless 'em, might find more useful work to do, such as assisting coastal rescues and salvage. That is, if they can get their boats moving.

God help us when Fiji invades.

We'll have to invite them right into the Hauraki Gulf and ask that they pull alongside Devonport and settle it with an arm wrestle, because half our fleet doesn't go to sea.
Maybe the navy should have to raise their own funds to carry on playing warships. Reminds me of the education funding campaign from a few decades ago…

'It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a cake stall to buy a bomber”.

That was back in the days when we actually had airstrike capability. Not now. If we are invaded, the best we can manage is a colourful stunt display that hopefully might scare away the attacking hordes. A bit like a Morris Dance in the sky. Hopefully the invaders will assume the inhabitants are complete basket cases and fly the other way.

Money wasting

There must be a better use of resources, whereby these dinosaur armed forces do more domestic chores to earn their keep. Such as the air force, with their 11 flashy new $154 million trainer planes, doing more local air search work. There are many times during a sea search when air support would be effective, yet the local Police search budget rarely allows for such help. Meanwhile, the air force merrily carries on with aerobatics and stunt flights at the taxpayers' expense.

So, while we're dissing the armed forces, we might as well have a crack at the army, too. Experts at blowing holes in tussock. They could play a greater role in Land Search and Rescue.

Filthy rich

But at least the $3 billion/year armed forces aren't the frivolous waste of money that is ‘NZ on Air'. While the ambos go cap in hand, the nation pours dosh into radio and television to prop up stations and programmes that can't stand on their own two feet in the commercial world.

Why are they not forced to hold cake stalls and sell raffle tickets, if they want to fund their particular hobby?

‘NZ on Air' has just shelled out another $6.7 million for its latest local series, ‘Dirty Laundry'. It's from the makers of ‘Filthy Rich', and while we have quite enjoyed that series, surely we need emergency services funded, before television dramas.

Pondering priorities

Here's a classic piece of irony…

During the 25 years of NZ On Air investment activity, only ‘Shortland Street', supported by NZ On Air for four seasons, has been able to move to be fully commercially funded. So we bankroll a fictitious doctor drama, yet the real life medical emergencies attended by St John are a charity case!

It leaves me pondering the priorities of a society that seems to value art over life, as the ambo officers plead on television for enough loose change for them to carry on saving people; and Coastguard launches its Mayday appeal (page 22).

The proverbial ambulance really is at the bottom of the cliff.

Scrambling for the crumbs at the bottom of the funding Great Divide.

In the meantime, subscribe to St John, sign up with Coastguard, support the Westpac chopper, and join the Morris Dancing group... You'll automatically qualify for the Home Guard.

brian@thesun.co.nz

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