Carol Stovold Quality Kidz www.qualitykidz.co.nz

There's nothing like taking the children out for dinner at a function with the in-laws to make a parent decide to work on their offsprings' table manners.

Table manners are another way that people judge others, and we don't want our children to look as though they don't have any.

So how do you gently, but effectively encourage good table manners without meal times becoming a stressful and dreaded nightmare?

Table manners really are about being kind and considerate of others. The problem is that the concept of good table manners is all but lost on a toddler. Having said that, there are some simple tactics you can employ that will help encourage your toddler to have good table manners.

Firstly, encourage good manners, but always be patient and empathetic to a toddler's young perspective on things. Toddlers have a natural urge to experiment with new things and food is no exception. From a toddler's point of view, potatoes need squishing just as much as play dough.

Toddlers have limited skill with cups and spoons, and even with finger feeding. Their mealtime coordination is not fine-tuned enough to prevent food from getting all over faces – and elbows, and the floor.

For all their limitations, toddlers learn the basics of table manners from you –e ven simple lessons like how to enjoy food and companionship during a meal. The child who sees parents eating neatly, using napkins and utensils properly and speaking politely to each other is the child who will eventually learn their table Ps and Qs.

After a meal, let your toddler help pick up the food they accidentally dropped from their high chair or from the table. These manners not only teach a toddler to pick up afterwards, but also help instill a good work ethic. Praise your toddler when they pick up their food or when he says ‘please' or ‘thank you'.

Encourage basic table manners with these simple tips:

• Make mealtimes pleasant
• Avoid battles over disliked foods
• Praise attempts at self-feeding
• Set a good example with your own manners

Most importantly let your toddler enjoy his food, give him heaps of encouragement and show him, by example, how you want him to behave at the table.

Next week: Encouraging good table manners with older children