Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Greetings Sunners and congratulations to all you readers, we have 100 per cent attendance from you all to have reached the shortest day of the year, which if you had been paying attention, was on Tuesday.

This means it's only a matter of time before the days start getting longer and before you know it, presto, we will be having Christmas with Santa and his three Ho's.

Spare a thought for him today; because the North Pole doesn't get any nights…so Santa may not be sleeping that well.

Also since they're up all night, Santa isn't getting any Ho action, unless there's afternoon delight on offer.

During the Winter Solstice there is no sunlight at all south of the Antarctic Circle; conversely, it is the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere when the
sun is visible throughout areas just south of the Arctic Circle to the North Pole, day
and night.

Oddly, the Winter Solstice coincided with near-record temperatures across NZ this week, according to NIWA's Ben Noll, meteorologist and dedicated Rogers Rabbits fanatic.

But just because it's the Winter Solstice, it doesn't mean the official start of winter. New Zealand, Australia and South Africa winters begins on June 1 and end on
August 31.

So, we've passed the hurdle of the shortest day and the optimists are looking forward to longer, warmer days and a whiff of spring is just around the corner, right?

Wrong, say the pessimists who know that in reality, the worst of winter generally comes after the shortest day so they are hunkering down and making sensible preparations to get through it: They've booked flights to the Gold Coast.

The romantics and traditionalists are embracing the crisp, wintry environment and planning a July mid-winter Christmas, so in our topsy turvy Southern Hemisphere lives, we can sing with conviction about sleigh bells and snowy Christmas things.

The Ebenezers are horrified with the prospect of two Christmases a year.

They reckon one is bad enough, right in the middle of summer that interrupts the fishing prospects, why would anyone be silly enough to inflict themselves to the gruelling twice?

Santa is annoyed that he'll have to work twice as much in a year and his Ho's aren't happy either.

Half Back Mountain

There's been a lot of talk, in fact incessant gabble, in the media about their prospects of a gay All Black. This, despite no evidence that one actually exists.

And who really cares? You don't see great debate about whether any of the Silver Ferns are lesbians. Or whether any All Blacks are lesbian. Although that would make the scrums more interesting.

Anyway after getting tired of the nonsense, RR decided we should come up with the movie trailer, in preparation for a gay All Black ‘coming out.' If the whole team ‘played for the other team,' they'd henceforth be known not as the ABs, but as the GayBs.

Half Back Mountin' would be a great title. It would feature a lot of untidy play at the breakdown.

The centre is lurking inside the wing. It would feature skilled ball handling. We could go on. Murray Mexted would have a field day. But in the interests of good taste (a rare commodity in this column), we shall change topics. Best we focus ahead to a good old manly thrashing of Wales again this weekend.

Side boob

You'd think the real news this week would be troops in the Middle East, the situation in Syria, rainstorms or the need for tax cuts.

However all this has been eclipsed by the debate…are celebrities showing too much side boob?

Immediately, the RR Research Team leapt into action to assess whether in fact celebrities have been exposing us to an unreasonable amount of upper torso profile.

Painstakingly our team sifted through pages of web entertainment images, selflessly committing hours of in-depth investigation into the allegations.

I am sad to report that our worst fears have been confirmed: There is far too much side boob being cavorted before our sensitive eyes.

Our report concludes there are two main points of concern: The left, and the right. Because it appears side boob is being flaunted ambidextrously.

It's not just the level of frontal quarter exposure, but also the sheer volume of celebrities who are appearing in public with inadequate coverage on the flanks of their frontal regions.

Everyone from Gwyneth Paltrow to LeAnn Rimes, Beyonce and Rhianna have been letting the side down, by letting the sides out. Even our own Ms Castle-Hughes has been promoting the architectural highlights of her twin spires.

Lord help us if Lorde lets a leftie loose.

It has to stop. It is demeaning to women, embarrassing for almost everyone else and taking focus away from real issues of the day.

Not to mention the huge cost of wasted bandwidth for those forced to keep an eye on such degrading behaviour.

Lucky for you, there are watchdogs of the community such as this column, keeping a vigilant eye on such activity; and hopefully, nippling it in the bud wherever possible.

Send any reports of rogue bust-outs to our 0800 Hottieline, and send us examples of side boob infractions that you think demand further investigation.

Parting thought:

We had a message from David Pipe, pointing out he doesn't like to see this column making fun of people's unfortunate names. And he's right; we're sorry and I thanked him. And sent my regards to his brother, Dwayne.

brian@thesun.co.nz
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