Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

It's been a funny old week, complete with strange items arriving in the mailbox. It must be ‘weird inventions week' judging by the stream of oddball devices.

Not as wacky as the snorkel with a built-in radio. We test drove that a few years ago and it worked remarkably well. That is, if you enjoy swimming around the bay with talkback radio jabbering through your jawbone.
First up this week: The electronic cigarette – the smoke you have when you're not having a smoke. We tested it on some filthy smokers to see how it rated with the real thing.
The Elusion is a rechargeable battery powered device that is supposed to look and feel like a traditional cigarette. The idea is that it satisfies a smoker's physical habit by imitating the look, feel and taste of normal tobacco cigarettes. Liquid in an electronic cartridge is atomised and looks like smoke.
Of our panel of three, they report mixed results. One thought the ‘Elusion' device was just marvellous and puffed away on harmless vapour all night. Another was undecided, saying he felt like he'd been connected to a smoke machine. Our third panellist said the device was faulty and ended up spilling the liquid and was quite worried she'd be glowing in the dark.
At least that's what the filthy smokers told us. I never know whether to believe them or not, because this column is renowned for its healthy lack of respect for smokers. Some news this week hasn't changed that.
The ever-alert Minister of Health Tariana Turia tells us that a new survey shows second hand smoke is an issue.
Well hello, Tariana. You needed a survey to know this?
Every non-smoker (still alive) constantly complains about the disgusting invasion of our rights and health by those who keep blowing it in our faces and spaces.
Worse than that, non-smokers are subsidising the hefty medical costs of smokers and their passive victims, and will do, for generations to come.
It is time smoking was simply banned outright. The sale of cigarettes could be stopped overnight. The sad old argument about the government losing tax revenue doesn't hold any sway. Tax losses will be quickly offset in the savings in health expenditure.
Giving them something else to do with their hands is probably the best way to provide a distraction. I recommend popping the air pockets on sheets of bubble wrap or clicking a ballpoint pen. Actually, cancel the pen idea. The annoyance factor is higher than putting up with their smoke.
One solution is to have ‘slap a smoker week'. Any smoker, anywhere, any time. A biff around the chops to knock some sense into them.
Smoking could be outlawed tomorrow and thousands of lives saved; if the government had any balls at all.

Griffins announced the development of a new gingernut. (Funny, since we'd just been talking about the royals and Prince Harry.)
The biscuit company has introduced a chocolate-coated gingernut.
We are only guessing here, but could a Choco-Ginga be the result of a fling between James Hewitt and Naomi Campbell?
Anyway, the nice people at Griffins have sent us a few samples to giveaway, an exclusive to Rogers Readers.
Drop us a line with your thoughts and we'll give some sample packets away to the best comments. brian@thesun.co.nz or mail RR at PO Box 240, Tauranga.
We can't guarantee they'll survive the post intact – someone has popped all the bubbles in our plastic wrap.