Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

In case you hadn't noticed, the Olympics have kicked off in Brazil with some great results, even a few medals, for Kiwi athletes.

There are a few prospects ahead for our team, with some progressing in fine style through their respective pools.

Not doing so well in pool play this week was ‘Bob' the Orca. Also known as ‘Tama'. But now referred to as ‘dead'.

With all the best intentions, well-meaning folk decided to try to help the whale calf out of an impossible situation.

We wonder if it would be better to have let nature take its course.

Sad, but inevitable. When people start attaching cutsie names to wild animals and applying human emotions to the situation, it's only going to end in tears.

There was a reason the calf was abandoned or separated from its parent and pod that we can only guess.

Taking the orca from the harbour and putting it into a Para Pool was always going to be a long shot at survival.

One of the better suggestions I heard during the week was for the young orca's 'adopted” harbour buoy to be detached from its mooring and towed out to sea, hopefully with the orca following.

That might have been its best chance of survival or re-uniting with the group…back in the open ocean where it would either re-connect or nature would do its thing.

However there are as many theories abounding as onlookers, and who are we to pass judgement? Good on the volunteers who did their best and DOC staff trying to make the right call, with every armchair critic from Maketu to 'Merica offering them 'advice” whether invited or not.

One thing is for sure, some of the soppy and misinformed commentators would be better putting their efforts into worthwhile causes, donating and helping at the SPCA or lobbying for stricter controls of set nets to protect endangered species that we can still help, such as Hector's dolphins.

Local Olympic talent

As a watersports region, it's great to see the homegrown Bay talent right at the top of the world, excelling on the water with yachties, rowers and kayakers leading the way. The likes of the Saunders, Burling and Meech gang are fine examples of local kids reaching the pinnacle of achievement and we salute them, their ever-supportive families and friends.

It makes sense that the Bay of Plenty produces world champion water sportspeople; our upbringing in the outdoors, on the coast and alongside rivers a perfect match for many of those codes.

But we're not represented in some of the oddball sports you rarely see in NZ, such as handball. Although a teacher friend informs me it is starting to catch on in local schools.

There are changes afoot with some Olympic sports, and we've some helpful suggestions, of course.

It's time ‘fencing' was properly named ‘sword fighting' to avoid confusion with the Young Farmer competitions and better describe the activity. Besides, ‘sword fighting' sounds way cooler.

It seems pretty silly having two volleyball events. One is enough. Either the beach version or the standard game. Wear skimpy togs if you must, but decide finally about whether you want sand in them.

Oddball sports

It's been revealed a bunch of new oddball sports are likely to be added to the Olympics, including skateboarding, rock climbing and surfing…

We have to wonder where this is going to end. Surely some of those sports – and several already in the Olympics – are really on the fringes of ‘athletic' endeavour.
At the risk of upsetting all you avid rock climbers out there, I'd rather see you slow down and be careful, rather than racing against each other. Same with surfing. Best enjoyed at a leisurely pace, dude.

Some pastimes just shouldn't be turned into a race or a competition. Isn't the idea of climbing a mountain to do it safely and enjoy the view?

The world has gone a bit mad, making a competition or race out of recreation and hobbies that were never intended to be judged one against the other.

Where will the creativity end?

How long before we will see Underwater Synchronised Domino Stacking, Stand-Up Paddleboard Cat Painting, or JetSki Chainsaw Juggling.

Danger, Will Robinson!

Who knows what the future Olympics hold in store for us. Some predict that in coming decades there will be a great dilemma over genetic editing, when athletes may be custom-designed, specifically to excel in certain fields.

Breeding for height, strength, endurance or flexibility could make the Russian drug cheating scandal pale in significance. It's likely bionic and prosthetic body parts will push Paralympic athletes beyond the performance capabilities of able-bodied competitors.

We've already had a glimpse of this, the most high profile example being bladerunner and part-time murderer Oscar Pistorius, whose carbon fibre limbs gave him a leg up, over mere mortal sprinters.

This year Switzerland hosts the first ever World Cyborg Olympics, called the ‘Cybathlon' in which competitors are pitted against each other using prosthetic gear, powered exo-skeletons and even brain-computer interfaces.

In our house, we already compete against the machines. I regularly lose against the toaster, which takes great pleasure in burning Vogels to a cinder unless it is challenged to release the slice every 30 seconds. There's an evil alliance between it and the microwave, one appliance coaxing the other into creating a diversion, while the unattended machine uses the distraction to nuke its food parcel, gaining a bonus point. All this is watched over by the biased spectator machines, the smoke alarms, which chime in with applause whenever the toaster wins.

And if you don't believe machines already have superior artificial intelligence and evil intent, remember the VCR? So few humans ever mastered control over these; we had to annihilate them from the planet before they took over. Fortunately, they were replaced with the more benign and user-friendly DVD and remote controls. But it was close call, back in the eighties and nineties. Must go now. The iPad is demanding attention and a finger massage.

brian@thesun.co.nz

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